He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
