If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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