North Korea, Best Korea!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Randomize
