so let's talk penis.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
