Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
