I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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