girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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