So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
