idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
