somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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