So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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