none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
