you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
