I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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