What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
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