i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
