summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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