can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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