Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
