I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
