I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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