3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
