Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
