ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
