But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
