I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Actions speak louder than pants.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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