Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
