and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
