my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
please come you make the beer taste better
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
