found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
In other news, I just burned my penis
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
