reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
