called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
