Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
