just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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