I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
