i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
