Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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