hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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