I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
