he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
