Can i not drive my cunt home
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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