Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
