I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
