I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
