This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
