I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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