Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
