Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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