We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
