worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
