Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
