Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
